You suck at cooking yeah you totally suck today we're making smashed potatoes which are the traditional food of the violent Irish to make smashed potatoes you're gonna need some small potatoes these can be the kind you get in a jar you can take bigger potatoes and smash them against the wall you can also use couch potatoes freshly fallen autumnal.

Potatoes or just steal some that were laid by a wild potato bird make sure to inspect your potatoes and remove anything that's cosmetically offensive uh Gotti now we'll wash those potatoes off keeping in mind that some potatoes can be obscenely dirty while boiling most vegetables should be illegal we make an exception for potatoes because.

Of the remarkable ability to have no flavor so we don't have to worry about the water leaching the flavor out since it was never there to begin with while our cauldron gets up to temperature we'll start making our magical Elixir we'll start with this much olive Venom then add this much garlic powder this much onion powder this much smoked.

Paprika or Chipotle powder or something else red this much salt and this much pepper pepper pepper then we'll Wang jangle it for this amount of time you'll know your Elixir is actually magic if your Elixir coated Wang jangler can do this you see it kept an evil spirit from appearing out of nowhere and haunting those potatoes once the potatoes are.

Fork tender they're good to go that should take around 10 or 12 or 15 minutes I'm not exactly sure but your fork nose now we're going to strain the water out and then we're gonna put those potatoes under considerable strain but first we'll throw the potatsukis on the pan and then slather the pan with some olive grease for some reason and now.

It's time to smash the potatoes with the bottom of a glass or with a wang jangler you can use an espresso thing or a power Stone fancy vas potted plant something cosmetically offensive a jar of candied walnuts a foam roller a bigger potato a far sexier potato you can use the power of your mind or a very sturdy stick or an electric kettle which was a really.

Bad idea if you're afraid of cleaning potato out of circuitry which I am not you can see in here that these potatoes weren't cooked enough when I smashed which made them crumbly so I snuck in this tray of professional stumped potatoes to take their place and now we're gonna drizzle sprinkle paint and slap that Elixir into the nooks and gaps.

Crannies crevices chasms clefts riffs splits crotches and cracks then into the undo they gundo at four hundo until they brundo if 450 Fahrenheit is too hot for you you can turn it all the way down to 232 degrees Celsius and you're going to want to bake those until they get nice and golden brown and crispy it's been around 40 minutes and they're looking.

Pretty good now we'll just test and see how crispy they actually are oh whoops I forgot I had some chips in my hand here anyway trust me bruh these potatoes not only taste good they also taste delicious and they taste good